Dotty turns 40

Jun 12, 2020
Dotty

The first rule of lockdown… what happens in lockdown stays in lockdown right? Please, please, please tell me this rule applies, the biscuits, the cakes and now the sun is out the ice creams and of course the amount of hours the children are spending on tablets and consoles… all making my parenting skills very questionable right now. My hairdressing skills are definitely questionable – the boys have had hair massacres – it’s the only word for it to be honest, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin my daughter’s hair as its not long grown. And now I have turned 40… in lockdown and with 4 children, although it didn’t really happen if it happened in lockdown right? I can stay 39 until this all over surely. 

In all honesty it was an event I have spent the last year dreading, the… big… 40. And this fact it was looming had escaped me what with life changing so drastically and home schooling whilst entertaining two pre-schoolers had taken up all my available mental abilities – which were dwindling after having had 4 children anyway. 

I had been slowly dreading spending my birthday in isolation and prepared myself for this inevitability by buying a mini bottle of prosecco for after the children’s bedtime. I had thought about throwing a party pre lockdown and my children begged for me to, but when I went to write an invite list I realised that I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch with friends over the last few years – amid two children being born, the breakdown of my relationship and finding my feet as a single mum of 4 including a newborn, so I wasn’t expecting many cards at all… 

However, it began with a box of mystery chocolates arriving from Amazon with no gift card. For about 24 hours I was left wondering if I had a secret admirer … but it turned out to be from one of my amazing friends. It continued with a few friends dropping around birthday bags of more prosecco and chocolates… and it really became a mass outpouring of love from friends and family, via messages and calls. In all honesty I have been feeling very isolated and lonely, if I’m really being honest, long before lockdown began. 

But my 40th birthday was amazing and people made an effort to leave gifts on my doorstep, which under the circumstances made the day just so special. My mum organised a tombola for me and wrapped up 40 gifts (tea bags and hair products and other lovely things including anti wrinkle cream, face masks, menopause tablets – all very cheeky ageing related presents … and a booty goals bum mask – yes apparently it perks your bum up … who knew this existed?)The children each got to pick out the tickets in turn unwrap the presents and give the gifts to me. An amazing family activity that took well over an hour and thoroughly entertained the kids. I was left with an overwhelming feeling of love from all my lovely friends… 

Today however, we are back to home schooling, and the start of the second hour I was well and truly ready to give up on this idea.. but I resisted the idea of running to the bathroom with one of those bottles of prosecco and stormed ahead. It has been a real battle to get back to this after a lovely half term week having now been allowed out of the house more than an hour a day. We visited the woods and made dens and had picnics and went to the beach and chased waves and threw stones in a shoe (yes this classic keep the kids amused for a good hour!). It was lovely and none of us felt like returning to home schooling today. But we did (not without tantrums from all of us) and tomorrow we will again… 

Now we are allowed out to meet up to 6 people (socially distanced obviously!) we are looking forward to a picnic tomorrow with my amazing Mum. As a larger single parent family we have struggled with a lot of lockdown rules – only one person ideally in a shop, only allowed to meet one person from a household, but this rule allows us to meet another person…finally the kids can spend some quality time with their Grandma. The littlest two have missed her as they spend more time with her than their Dad, so this has left a huge void in their world seeing her only briefly at the bottom of the garden path as she walks her dogs past our house once a week. 

But tomorrow … we picnic after a successful mornings home schooling – she says laughing. Perhaps we should leave home schooling until after the picnic…